Football has come to Ankh-Morpork, and Unseen University must field a team or lose its funding. The wizards - men who consider walking to the dinner table a form of exercise - must learn the beautiful game, with help from a candle-dripping night kitchen worker with a mysterious past, a fashion-obsessed cook, and the most talented footballer the city has ever seen. A novel about tribalism, identity, and the things people do for love, wrapped in Pratchett's sharpest satire of sports culture.