Thief of Time
Chapters - Terry Pratchett
Section: The Glass Clock Commission
The Auditors of Reality launch their most ambitious attack on humanity: they commission a clock so precise that it will trap Time itself, freezing the universe in a single perfect moment. They recruit Jeremy Clockson, a brilliant but disturbed young clockmaker in Ankh-Morpork who is obsessed with building the perfect clock. An Auditor takes human form as Lady Myria LeJean to supervise the project, struggling with the disorienting experience of having a body and senses.
Death senses the approaching danger and summons his fellow Horsemen - War, Famine and Pestilence - who have all retired and taken up mortal hobbies. Ronnie Soak, a milkman in Ankh-Morpork, is revealed to be the fifth Horseman, formerly known as Chaos, who left before they became famous. Meanwhile, at the monastery of Oi Dong in the Ramtop Mountains, history monk Lu-Tze - an elderly sweeper who is secretly the most dangerous man alive - is assigned a new apprentice.
On page: Death, The Death of Rats, Jeremy Clockson, Myria LeJean, Lu-Tze, Ronnie Soak, Nanny Ogg, Madame Frout, Wen the Eternally Surprised, Soto·Mentioned: War, Famine, Pestilence
Section: Lobsang and Lady LeJean
Lu-Tze's new apprentice is Lobsang Ludd, a foundling raised by the Thieves' Guild who has an extraordinary natural talent for manipulating time - he can 'slice' moments thin, stretching seconds into minutes. The history monks, followers of Wen the Eternally Surprised, maintain the flow of time across the Disc using stored time in special containers. Lu-Tze recognises that Lobsang's abilities go far beyond training.
Susan Sto Helit, now teaching at a school in Ankh-Morpork, notices small temporal disturbances and feels drawn to investigate. Jeremy Clockson works feverishly on his glass clock, guided by Lady LeJean, who is finding human embodiment increasingly confusing. She discovers that having a body means having senses, and senses lead to feelings, and feelings lead to individuality - the very thing the Auditors despise. She begins eating chocolate, an act that would horrify her fellow Auditors.
POV: Lu-Tze·On page: Lobsang Ludd, Susan Sto Helit, Jeremy Clockson, Myria LeJean, The Abbot, Rinpo, Jeremy's Igor, Dr Hopkins
Section: Rule One
Lu-Tze and Lobsang journey to Ankh-Morpork to stop the construction of the Glass Clock. Lu-Tze knows that such a clock was built once before, 800 years ago, and its activation shattered history so badly that the monks had to piece time back together. The first clock's creator vanished from history entirely. Lu-Tze's methods are unconventional - he fights with a broom handle, quotes the sayings of Wen the Eternally Surprised, and his most powerful weapon is Rule One: 'Do not act incautiously when confronting little bald wrinkly smiling men.'
Susan tracks the temporal disturbances to Jeremy's workshop and is shocked to discover he looks exactly like Lobsang. Lady LeJean continues her transformation from Auditor to something dangerously close to human, secretly sabotaging her own mission as she develops an appreciation for the chaotic, messy, wonderful world she was sent to destroy.
POV: Lu-Tze, Susan Sto Helit·On page: Lobsang Ludd, Jeremy Clockson, Myria LeJean, Madame Frout, Soto
Section: Time Stops
Jeremy completes the Glass Clock and activates it. Time stops. The entire Disc freezes in a single instant - every person, every creature, every drop of water caught in mid-fall. Only those with special connections to time are unaffected: Lu-Tze and Lobsang, Susan (through her connection to Death), and the Horsemen. The Auditors manifest in their millions, finally able to catalogue and organise a universe that has stopped moving.
Death rides out with the reconstituted Horsemen, including the reluctant Ronnie Soak (who brings his milk float). Their mission is to buy time - literally - while the others work to restart the clock. Lady LeJean, now fully individual, defects from the Auditors and joins the fight to save time, knowing it will mean her destruction.
POV: Susan Sto Helit·On page: Death, Lu-Tze, Lobsang Ludd, Ronnie Soak, Myria LeJean, War, Famine, Pestilence, The Abbot, Rinpo, Jeremy's Igor, Dr Hopkins
Section: The Auditors Embodied
The Auditors, having stopped time, begin taking human bodies to experience the frozen world. This proves to be their undoing: embodiment brings sensation, sensation brings pleasure, pleasure brings individuality, and individuality is fatal to an Auditor. They gorge on chocolate, smell flowers, hear music, and one by one they develop personalities - which causes them to cease to exist as Auditors. The same trap that caught Lady LeJean claims them by the thousands.
Susan discovers the truth about Lobsang and Jeremy: they are twin sons of Time herself, the anthropomorphic personification. Time had a brief mortal existence and gave birth to twins who were separated at birth - one raised by monks, the other by the Guild of Clockmakers. Together, they have the power to restart the universe. Lu-Tze fights through hordes of embodied Auditors using nothing but a broom, wisdom and Rule One.
POV: Susan Sto Helit·On page: Lobsang Ludd, Jeremy Clockson, Lu-Tze, Myria LeJean, Madame Frout, Mrs War
Section: Ride of the Five Horsemen
Death, War, Famine, Pestilence and Ronnie Soak (Chaos) ride against the Auditors. Death wields his scythe with renewed purpose. The other Horsemen, despite years of retirement, remember their ancient roles. War, now a retired general running a military memorabilia shop, picks up his sword. Famine, running a chain of fast-food restaurants, unleashes hunger. Pestilence readies his arsenal. Ronnie Soak brings the chaos of creation itself.
The battle is metaphysical rather than physical - the Horsemen represent the forces that make the universe dynamic and alive, exactly what the Auditors want to eliminate. Lady LeJean sacrifices herself, using her unique position as an Auditor-turned-individual to disrupt the Auditors' collective consciousness from within. Her last act of individuality - choosing to die for something she believes in - is the ultimate refutation of the Auditors' philosophy.
POV: Death·On page: War, Famine, Pestilence, Ronnie Soak, Myria LeJean, The Abbot, Rinpo, Jeremy's Igor
Section: The Twins Made Whole
Lobsang and Jeremy are brought together at the Glass Clock. When the twins merge, they become something greater - an aspect of Time itself, inheriting their mother's role. Susan helps guide the process, standing at the boundary between life and death as she has always done. The Glass Clock is shattered and time restarts, flowing again from its source.
Lu-Tze defeats the last of the embodied Auditors with patience, guile and a well-timed application of Rule One. The history monks begin the painstaking work of cleaning up temporal anomalies caused by the stoppage. The universe resumes its chaotic, untidy, wonderful existence. Death returns to his study, satisfied that once again the Auditors have been defeated by the very thing they despise: the capacity of individual beings to choose, to care, and to sacrifice.
POV: Susan Sto Helit·On page: Lobsang Ludd, Jeremy Clockson, Lu-Tze, Death, Wen the Eternally Surprised, Time, The Abbot, Soto
Section: Time Flows Again
Susan returns to her teaching job, having once again been dragged into supernatural affairs and once again emerged changed. She and Lobsang share a moment of connection - he is now partly the personification of Time, she is partly the granddaughter of Death, and between them they span the fundamental forces of the universe. Lu-Tze returns to his monastery, resuming his role as the humble sweeper who is not to be underestimated.
Death reflects on the events. The Auditors will return - they always do - but they will never understand why they keep losing. They cannot comprehend that messiness, chaos, individuality and emotion are not flaws in the universe but its greatest features. Ronnie Soak goes back to delivering milk, content with his quiet mortal existence. The Death of Rats and Quoth watch from a rooftop as the city returns to normal, and the clocks tick on.
POV: Susan Sto Helit·On page: Lobsang Ludd, Lu-Tze, Death, The Death of Rats, Ronnie Soak, Wen the Eternally Surprised, Time, The Abbot, Jeremy's Igor