The Light Fantastic
Chapters - Terry Pratchett
Section: The Octavo Stirs
The Discworld hurtles through space on the back of Great A'Tuin, and something momentous is happening. Twoflower tumbles through space inside the Potent Voyager while Rincewind plunges alongside him, both having fallen off the edge of the Disc. Deep in the cellars of Unseen University, the Octavo - the Creator's own spellbook - begins to stir violently, its seven remaining Spells agitated by the imminent loss of the eighth Spell lodged in Rincewind's mind.
Galder Weatherwax, Chancellor of Unseen University, investigates the disturbance along with his ambitious second-in-command Trymon. The Octavo releases a massive blast of magic that transforms things throughout the University, accidentally turning the head librarian into an orang-utan. From the Tower of Art, Galder and Trymon witness a Change spell wash across the entire Disc - reality itself being rearranged to prevent Rincewind and the eighth Spell from being lost.
Rincewind finds himself alive and hanging upside down in a pine tree in the Forest of Skund, while Twoflower bobs on a lake nearby. The Luggage materialises separately, startling a young shaman. The trio reunites on a forest path, where the trees have become disconcertingly talkative due to the magical saturation of the area.
On page: Rincewind, Twoflower, The Luggage, Galder Weatherwax, Ymper Trymon, The Librarian, Great A'Tuin·Mentioned: Great A'Tuin
Section: Rite of AshkEnte
The eight most powerful wizards of the Disc gather in Unseen University's Great Hall, where Galder Weatherwax proposes performing the Rite of AshkEnte to summon Death. Death arrives, irritated at being pulled away from a party, and reveals a critical prophecy: all eight Spells of the Octavo must be spoken together on Hogswatchnight or the Disc will be destroyed. He confirms that Rincewind and the eighth Spell are in the Forest of Skund.
Trymon secretly visits the Librarian in the University library and obtains a book about the Pyramid of Tsort, learning about the prophecy's promise of rewards for whoever brings the eight spells together. Meanwhile, in the forest, Rincewind and Twoflower meet Swires, a gnome who leads them to an abandoned gingerbread cottage once belonging to a witch.
The greatest hero the Disc has ever produced sits with barbarian horsemen around a campfire. When asked what are the greatest things in life, this legendary figure - toothless and elderly - answers with unexpected practicality: hot water, good dentistry and soft lavatory paper.
On page: Rincewind, Twoflower, The Luggage, Death, Galder Weatherwax, Ymper Trymon, The Librarian, Swires, Greyhald Spold, Cohen the Barbarian
Section: The Gingerbread Cottage
Galder Weatherwax forges a magical arrow designed to kill Rincewind and retrieve the eighth Spell, while fending off Trymon's assassination attempt with a thrown knife. Meanwhile, Rincewind and Twoflower shelter in the gingerbread cottage as rival groups of wizards converge on the forest to capture the Spell. The wizards from various Orders burst into the cottage, fighting amongst themselves.
Rincewind and Twoflower escape on a witch's broomstick found in a cupboard, crashing through the wall as Galder's magical arrow strikes the Luggage, which vanishes. The broomstick proves wildly difficult to control, sending them careening through the night sky. High above the clouds, they catch their first glimpse of a sinister red star in the direction of Great A'Tuin's travel - the Disc is heading straight towards it.
Back at the University, Galder's summoning spell brings the Luggage instead of the eighth Spell. Trymon flees in terror from the sapient pearwood chest, which has materialised in the centre of the magical circle. Greyhald Spold, the oldest wizard on the Disc, attempts to hide from Death in an elaborate protective box - only to discover Death is already inside with him.
On page: Rincewind, Twoflower, The Luggage, Death, Galder Weatherwax, Ymper Trymon, Greyhald Spold, Swires, Great A'Tuin
Section: Belafon's Flying Rock
Rincewind and Twoflower crash-land on a flying rock piloted by Belafon, a young druid who works as a computer hardware consultant. Belafon explains that the massive stone circles of the druids function as computers, and he is delivering a replacement stone to the great circle on the Vortex Plains. The rock's flight is maintained by 'persuasion' - one of the four fundamental forces the druids believe govern the universe.
They arrive at the stone circle, where the druids are frantically trying to recalibrate their megalithic computer, which has gone haywire since the mysterious events of recent days. Rincewind falls into a vision where he finds himself inside the Octavo, confronted by the seven remaining Spells, who speak to him with dry, papery voices. They reveal they arranged for the eighth Spell to lodge in his mind years ago and insist he must protect it until the right time, warning that terrible things will happen if all eight spells are spoken too soon.
Meanwhile, Trymon has taken over as head of the Order of the Silver Star after Galder's disappearance. He consults the University's Professor of Astrology about the new red star, learning that it is vastly larger than the Disc's own sun and that Great A'Tuin is swimming directly towards it. Trymon orders Rincewind's horoscope cast to locate him.
On page: Rincewind, Twoflower, Belafon, Ymper Trymon, Great A'Tuin·Mentioned: Great A'Tuin
Section: Sacrifice at the Stones
At the stone circle, the druids prepare for an ancient ceremony that Twoflower eagerly describes as celebrating the Oneness of Man with the Universe. Rincewind recognises it for what it really is - a human sacrifice - as an apprehensive young woman is laid on the altar stone. Twoflower marches up to interrupt proceedings, appealing to the druids to use flowers and berries instead.
While Rincewind watches in horror, a small, wiry figure seizes him from behind. It is Cohen the Barbarian, the Disc's greatest hero - now eighty-seven years old, toothless, and suffering from lumbago. Despite his age, Cohen single-handedly defeats the younger druids with devastating efficiency. Twoflower frees the sacrificial maiden, Bethan, who is furious at being rescued, having carefully maintained her virginal 'qualifications' for eight years.
Cohen kills the archdruid when he attacks, but is laid low by his arthritis. Twoflower is struck unconscious by the archdruid's sickle and becomes mysteriously weightless, his spirit somehow separated from his body. Cohen believes he knows someone who might help - a necromancer among the Horse People of the Hubland steppes. Meanwhile, a party of wizards searching for Rincewind is bowled over in the darkness by the Luggage, racing through the snow on its hundreds of little legs.
On page: Rincewind, Twoflower, The Luggage, Cohen the Barbarian, Bethan
Section: The Shaman's Potion
In a Horse People yurt, an old shaman's grandmother performs a card reading for Rincewind, revealing ominous signs on every card - including the red star and a tiny figure followed by a box on legs. She gives Rincewind a mysterious potion that separates his spirit from his body, sending him soaring into Death's domain. There he finds the Luggage and follows his blue lifeline to a cottage perched over a vast funnel of whispering souls.
Inside, Rincewind meets Ysabell, Death's adopted daughter, who leads him to Death's study where Twoflower is cheerfully teaching Death, War, Famine and Pestilence how to play bridge. Rincewind grabs Twoflower and flees through Death's garden, pursued by Ysabell wielding a scythe. The Luggage saves them by catching the scythe blade in its lid, and they leap into the abyss, following their lifelines back to the living world.
They find themselves briefly inside the Octavo again, where the Spells warn Rincewind that wizards are hunting him to recite all eight Spells - which the Spells insist must not happen yet. Overwhelmed by homesickness, Rincewind's spirit snaps back to his body in the yurt, and Twoflower awakens from what he believes was a strange dream.
On page: Rincewind, Twoflower, The Luggage, Death, Ysabell, Cohen the Barbarian, Bethan, War, Famine, Pestilence
Section: Trymon Takes Charge
Back at Unseen University, Trymon consolidates power over the six surviving heads of the Eight Orders with ruthless efficiency, introducing agendas and organisation charts to the traditionally chaotic world of wizardry. The wizards admit they cannot locate Rincewind by magical means, and Trymon reveals he has hired a hero to track him down instead - Herrena the Henna-Haired Harridan, a practical swordswoman heading for the Trollbone Mountains with a band of mercenaries.
Meanwhile, the travellers ride across the snowfields. Cohen and Bethan grow closer, with Bethan tending to Cohen's many ailments. Twoflower is starstruck by the legendary barbarian. As they descend into pine forests, Rincewind is sent to forage for wild onions and encounters talking trolls who have been waiting for him - an ancient troll legend says that when the red star appears, Rincewind the wizard will come looking for onions and must not be bitten.
The trolls, led by Kwartz, agree to help Rincewind. They return to camp to find Cohen, Twoflower and Bethan have been kidnapped by Herrena and her mercenaries, who have taken shelter in a cave that turns out to be the mouth of Old Grandad - an enormous, ancient troll who has been sleeping for centuries.
On page: Rincewind, Twoflower, The Luggage, Ymper Trymon, Cohen the Barbarian, Bethan, Kwartz, Gancia, Weems, Herrena the Henna-Haired Harridan
Section: Old Grandad Wakes
The fire lit by Herrena's mercenaries in the cave wakes Old Grandad, the enormous ancient troll. As the ground begins to shake, the mercenary Gancia tries to steal gold from the Luggage, which swallows him whole. Weems frees the captives in terror, then falls from Old Grandad's lip as the troll rises.
Old Grandad stands to his full terrifying height while Rincewind warns Herrena's group about the danger. The trolls led by Kwartz scatter the remaining mercenaries, but Old Grandad's massive fist comes crashing down towards Rincewind. He survives only because sunrise freezes the ancient troll mid-strike, leaving Rincewind wedged in a narrow gap beneath the stone fist.
Twoflower, Cohen and Bethan climb down from Old Grandad's mouth cave and reunite with Rincewind. Cohen wrestles with the Luggage in a spectacular confrontation, demanding to see what is inside - only to find clean laundry. Rincewind and Twoflower set off alone on horseback, but Twoflower insists on going back for Cohen and Bethan. They are promptly recaptured by Herrena, who has regrouped.
On page: Rincewind, Twoflower, The Luggage, Cohen the Barbarian, Bethan, Kwartz, Gancia, Weems
Section: Cohen at the Ferry
Herrena takes Rincewind and Twoflower captive while the Luggage stalks them relentlessly through the countryside, terrifying Weems. They reach the River Smarl, where Cohen has disguised himself as the ferryman. A furious fight breaks out: Cohen takes on the mercenaries despite his aching joints, Twoflower headbutts people, and Rincewind kicks anyone within reach. Cohen's back gives out mid-sword fight with Herrena, who is about to kill him when Bethan knocks her out from behind with a branch and fixes Cohen's back with a businesslike twist.
The Luggage catches up with Weems in the woods and deals with him permanently. Around the campfire, Cohen and Bethan announce they are getting married. Cohen has had diamond dentures made from troll teeth, inspired by Twoflower showing him his own removable false teeth - the concept of dentures being entirely new and wondrous on the Disc.
They ride into a small city where the population is fleeing in terror of the red star, which grows larger by the day. The streets are painted with red stars by followers of a new movement that rejects magic and the gods. Cohen visits a dwarf jeweller named Lackjaw, who fashions his diamond dentures.
On page: Rincewind, Twoflower, The Luggage, Cohen the Barbarian, Bethan, Weems, Lackjaw
Section: The Star Worshippers
In the city, Rincewind, Twoflower and Bethan stumble into a crowd of star worshippers listening to a demagogue named Dahoney preach the rejection of magic and the gods. Death appears beside Rincewind, troubled by this new fanaticism, saying he understands normal death but not this 'death of the mind'. The star people recognise Rincewind as a wizard and turn hostile.
The Spell in Rincewind's head suddenly takes control, unleashing devastating octarine fire that vaporises the star people's leader. Rincewind is drunk with the unfamiliar sensation of real magical power, but Twoflower and Bethan drag him away as more star people close in. They are cornered in a dead end when a wandering shop materialises behind them - one of the mysterious tabernae vagantes, run by a small man cursed to travel between dimensions forever after offending a sorcerer.
Meanwhile, Cohen unveils his magnificent new diamond dentures at the jeweller's shop, terrifying a gang of star people who have been terrorising the dwarf Lackjaw. Cohen and Lackjaw fight their way through the streets, encountering book burners and fleeing the growing mob. Cohen discovers the Luggage sitting motionless in a cul-de-sac, staring at a wall where the wandering shop once stood.
On page: Rincewind, Twoflower, The Luggage, Death, Cohen the Barbarian, Bethan, Lackjaw
Section: Siege of Unseen University
The wandering shop transports Rincewind, Twoflower and Bethan to Ankh-Morpork, materialising in the docks district. Rincewind resolves to return the eighth Spell to the Octavo at Unseen University, which is under siege from both terrified citizens and star worshippers demanding wizards either fix the crisis or destroy themselves. Using his old knowledge of a secret student entrance, Rincewind leads them over the University wall.
Deep in the cellars, Trymon has manipulated the other seven Order heads into unlocking the Octavo. He seizes the book and locks them in the lead-lined room, then races to the top of the Tower of Art to read all eight Spells himself. Rincewind finds the trapped wizards and, in a supreme effort of willpower, manages to pick the lock using rudimentary magic - the first genuine spell he has ever cast on his own.
The freed wizards reveal Trymon has stolen the Octavo. Above them, terrible sounds and lights erupt from the Tower of Art as Trymon attempts to channel all seven Spells. Twoflower charges up the tower stairs with a borrowed sword, and Rincewind follows - his feet making their own decision, and from the point of view of his head, getting it entirely wrong.
On page: Rincewind, Twoflower, Ymper Trymon, Bethan, Jiglad Wert, Lumuel Panter
Section: Top of the Tower
At the top of the Tower of Art, Rincewind finds Trymon apparently calm and the seven senior wizards turned to stone. But looking into Trymon's eyes, Rincewind sees the truth - the attempt to hold all seven Spells has broken Trymon's mind, and creatures from the Dungeon Dimensions have poured through the gap, wearing Trymon like a suit. Rincewind fights the Trymon-creature in a desperate brawl that shifts between the real world and the Dungeon Dimensions, eventually forcing it over the edge of the stairwell. The seven Spells return to the empty Octavo.
Rincewind forces the eighth Spell out of his mind and back onto the page, then reads all eight Spells aloud from the Octavo. At first nothing seems to happen, and the crowd turns hostile. Bethan spots a mispronounced word, and Twoflower accidentally provides the correct pronunciation. The Octavo rises into the air and explodes in a flower of light. The red star's moons crack open to reveal eight baby sky turtles, each carrying a tiny new discworld - Great A'Tuin has been swimming towards the star to witness the hatching of its young.
The Luggage swallows the Octavo for safekeeping. Cohen arrives via the Luggage with Lackjaw, having ridden the chest across the countryside. In the aftermath, Twoflower decides to return home to the Agatean Empire, leaving the Luggage with Rincewind. Rincewind, his head finally empty of the Spell, considers re-enrolling at the University as the two friends say goodbye at the docks.
On page: Rincewind, Twoflower, The Luggage, Great A'Tuin, Ymper Trymon, Cohen the Barbarian, Bethan, Lackjaw, The Librarian, Jiglad Wert, Lumuel Panter, Great A'Tuin