The Truth
Chapters - Terry Pratchett
Section: The Dwarfs Bring Movable Type
A rumour spreads through Ankh-Morpork that the dwarfs can turn lead into gold, reaching every corner of the city from the Alchemists' quarter to the ears of the Patrician. William de Worde, a young man who earns a modest living writing a monthly news letter for foreign notables, dutifully records the rumour for his clients. He prepares his letter using the traditional method of having an engraver named Mr Cripslock cut his words into boxwood for printing.
Setting out through the freezing fog to deliver his block, William encounters Cut-Me-Own-Throat Dibbler selling sausages in the street. Their conversation is interrupted by a runaway dwarf cart that crashes into them both. William is knocked unconscious by a piece of flying type. He wakes in the workshop of Gunilla Goodmountain, a dwarf who has brought movable type printing to Ankh-Morpork. Goodmountain's dwarfs quickly set William's letter in metal type and print it far faster and cheaper than any engraver could. William sends his letters out days early, then daringly posts eighteen extra copies to prominent citizens.
Meanwhile, two sinister men arrive in the city by boat under cover of darkness - Mr Pin and Mr Tulip, hired killers known as the New Firm. They deliver a hooded prisoner to a large house, where shadowy conspirators recognise the man with astonishment. The prisoner is taken to a cellar, and plans are set in motion.
POV: William de Worde·On page: Gunilla Goodmountain, Cut Me Own Throat Dibbler, Mr Pin, Mr Tulip·Mentioned: Havelock Vetinari, Samuel 'Sam' Vimes
Section: Vetinari Visits The Press
The Bursar of Unseen University visits Goodmountain's printing operation and, after initial philosophical objections about movable type, is won over by the dramatically lower prices. William begins taking notes on the scene, sensing a story. He interviews the Bursar, who gives a carefully worded endorsement of the new technology.
Lord Vetinari, the Patrician of Ankh-Morpork, discusses the printing press with Hughnon Ridcully, Chief Priest of Blind Io. Despite religious objections to movable type, Vetinari argues pragmatically that the dwarfs cannot be stopped and that words are becoming the new weapons of power. He visits the printing shed himself, where he interrogates Goodmountain about supernatural risks - a running concern given the city's history of magical disasters. Vetinari gives tacit permission for the enterprise, but privately makes William personally responsible for any problems.
From a rooftop, Mr Pin and Mr Tulip observe the Patrician's departure, discussing the city's power structure. In their cellar hideout, the New Firm coerce their prisoner Charlie - a shopkeeper from Pseudopolis who bears a striking resemblance to Lord Vetinari - into rehearsing a role for them, promising ten thousand dollars.
POV: William de Worde·On page: Havelock Vetinari, Gunilla Goodmountain, Mr Pin, Mr Tulip
Section: The Ankh-Morpork Times
William gathers a dozen items of news in a single day, finding that people will readily share information if asked. He compiles stories about a stolen golden fang from the temple of Offler, a brawl at the Mended Drum, and assorted city gossip. At the printing shed, Boddony, Goodmountain's second-in-command, suggests the news sheet needs titles for each item and a proper name. They settle on the Ankh-Morpork Times, with the title's mixed capitalisation arising from a typesetting error that William decides to keep.
Goodmountain prints two hundred copies and recruits Foul Ole Ron and his crew of beggars to sell them on the streets for twenty pence each. Meanwhile, the New Firm meet with Mr Slant, a zombie lawyer who acts as intermediary for their mysterious clients. Slant provides sealed instructions and warns Pin and Tulip about the Watch. The two killers then meet their employers - a group of anonymous conspirators seated in shadowy chairs in a dark ballroom - who instruct them to proceed with their plan on Tuesday morning, with strict orders that Vetinari must not be killed.
POV: William de Worde·On page: Gunilla Goodmountain, Boddony, Mr Pin, Mr Tulip, Mr Slant, Wuffles
Section: Sacharissa Joins The Paper
Lord Vetinari reads the first edition of the Times with interest and summons William to the palace, where he offers enigmatic advice about telling people what they already know. The paper sells eight hundred copies. Sacharissa Cripslock, granddaughter of William's former engraver, confronts him furiously about putting her grandfather out of work, but William hires her as a reporter at a dollar a day.
Sacharissa proves industrious, covering meetings and gathering local news with diligent detail. She reports on the Dolly Sisters' Baking and Flower Circle, where a naked man disrupted proceedings - a story William recognises has genuine appeal. A man arrives with a humorously shaped carrot, the first of many such visitors. William climbs a building to interview a would-be suicide named Arthur Crank, who turns out to be a retired steeplejack who does this regularly for tobacco money. William faints on the ledge and Crank carries him down.
The Guild of Engravers attempts to squeeze the Times through Mr Slant and a hastily revised Guild charter, but Sacharissa spots that the document lacks Vetinari's signature. William turns the confrontation into copy, writing down everything the lawyer says in real time - discovering that the notebook and pencil can be as powerful as any weapon.
POV: William de Worde·On page: Havelock Vetinari, Sacharissa Cripslock, Gunilla Goodmountain, Mr Slant, Cut Me Own Throat Dibbler, Charlie
Section: Patrician Attacks Clerk With Knife
Otto Chriek, a reformed vampire iconographer from Uberwald, joins the Times staff, bringing his own equipment and a pledge of temperance from the Uberwald Temperance Movement. Despite the fact that bright light causes him to scream, collapse, and sometimes crumble to dust, Otto is passionately devoted to his craft. He develops a method of etching iconograph images directly on to printing plates using acid, bypassing the need for the hostile Engravers' Guild.
News breaks that Lord Vetinari has apparently attacked his clerk Rufus Drumknott with a knife. William races to the palace, where Commander Vimes reluctantly provides a statement. The facts seem absurd - Vetinari was found unconscious in the stables with a horse loaded with seventy thousand dollars in coins, having allegedly confessed to the attack. William examines the Oblong Office crime scene, noting a crossbow bolt in the floor and a strong smell of peppermint. Otto takes pictures, disintegrating twice in the process. William publishes a special edition with the headline 'Patrician Attacks Clerk With Knife', adding 'Watch Baffled'.
POV: William de Worde·On page: Otto Chriek, Samuel 'Sam' Vimes, Sacharissa Cripslock, Havelock Vetinari, Rufus Drumknott, Gunilla Goodmountain
Section: The Inquirer Strikes Back
William visits Vimes at Pseudopolis Yard, where a tense exchange reveals that both men know the case against Vetinari makes no sense. William points out that the peppermint smell suggests someone was masking their scent from a werewolf, and that the crossbow bolt was fired at something dog-sized on the floor. Vimes, impressed despite himself, agrees to supply a drawing of Vetinari's missing dog Wuffles for publication, hoping someone will find the animal.
William visits the cells, where Vetinari lies unconscious and Drumknott is recovering but evasive. Sergeant Angua, whom William correctly deduces is the Watch's werewolf, escorts him out. Back at the office, the Guild of Engravers launches a rival newspaper - the Inquirer - selling at tuppence, undercutting the Times. The Inquirer's stories are entirely fabricated sensationalism: 'Woman Gives Birth to Cobra', 'Rain of Soup in Genua'. The Engravers also buy up the paper supply from Harry King, threatening to strangle the Times.
Mr Pin reads the Times and recognises a problem. Mr Slant demands they find Wuffles, whom Mr Tulip shot at but only wounded during the palace raid. The dog escaped and could be a witness - Ankh-Morpork courts accept animal testimony.
POV: William de Worde·On page: Samuel 'Sam' Vimes, Rufus Drumknott, Mr Pin, Mr Tulip, Mr Slant, Sacharissa Cripslock, Cut Me Own Throat Dibbler, Havelock Vetinari, Lord de Worde
Section: Who Framed Lord Vetinari
William wakes in the middle of the night with a revelation: seventy thousand dollars in coins would weigh nearly a third of a ton, far too much for a man with a bad leg to load on a horse. This proves the scene was staged. He rushes to the office and dictates a story headlined 'Who Framed Lord Vetinari?' while Goodmountain sets the type.
A clacks message from King Verence of Lancre confirms that no women there have given birth to snakes, debunking the Inquirer's lead story. William visits Harry King, the self-made waste magnate who controls the city's paper supply. King has sold his entire stock to the Engravers' Guild but, impressed by William's tenacity and motivated by the promise of coloured wedding photographs for his daughter Hermione, he arranges for a cartload of paper to be conveniently 'stolen' from his yard.
Sacharissa discovers Otto's experiments with dark light - a mysterious form of illumination that reveals not what is physically present but what is metaphorically or temporally true. A dark light picture of the Oblong Office shows two images of Vetinari staring at each other, and one of William shows his father standing behind him. Otto warns that the effects are unpredictable and possibly dangerous.
POV: William de Worde·On page: Gunilla Goodmountain, Sacharissa Cripslock, Otto Chriek, Boddony, Wuffles, Foul Ole Ron, Coffin Henry, Arnold Sideways, The Duck Man, Altogether Andrews·Mentioned: Samuel 'Sam' Vimes
Section: The Missionaries In Disguise
The publication of Wuffles' picture triggers an avalanche of people bringing dogs to the Times office, hoping to claim the twenty-five-dollar reward. Sacharissa is overwhelmed by a queue that includes poodles, cats, a badger, a cow, and a parrot with 'DoG' painted on its side.
Two figures arrive claiming to be Omnian missionaries - Brother Pin and Sister Jennifer, supposedly from the Bishop Horn Ministry to Animals. Sister Jennifer, enormous and brick-faced with a revolving eye, begins violently sorting through the queue, searching not for Wuffles but systematically examining every terrier. William realises with horror that these are Mr Pin and Mr Tulip in disguise when Brother Pin reveals he knows the dog's colour.
Pin holds William at knifepoint, warning him not to interfere. But Goodmountain reads the situation through William's coded responses and sends for Otto, who uses his Uberwaldean land eels to unleash a burst of dark light. The blast disorients everyone. Pin slashes Otto's head off before fleeing with sacks of confiscated terriers, but the vampire survives - decapitation alone cannot kill a vampire. The dark light picture Otto captured shows Pin's face surrounded by screaming, tortured shadows.
POV: William de Worde·On page: Sacharissa Cripslock, Mr Pin, Mr Tulip, Otto Chriek, Gunilla Goodmountain, Samuel 'Sam' Vimes
Section: Deep Bone's Offer
Vimes arrives at the Times to investigate the chaos of thousands of stampeding dogs. He and William have another tense exchange, with Vimes revealing that the Guilds are about to elect Mr Scrope as the new Patrician, and that Scrope's first act will be to pardon Vetinari without a trial - sweeping the whole affair under the carpet. Vimes hints broadly that William should keep investigating.
A mysterious informant calling himself Deep Bone contacts William in Hobson's Livery Stable, offering to produce Wuffles and an interpreter who can understand dog language, for a hundred and fifty dollars. Deep Bone reveals that it was not Vetinari who stabbed Drumknott but another man, and that the attacker has a dog bite on his ankle. William deduces that Deep Bone is a foreigner who misuses colloquialisms.
William visits an apothecary to buy oil of scallatine - an overwhelmingly powerful scent - as insurance against being tracked by the Watch's werewolf, Sergeant Angua. He shakes off his Watch tail using the scent bomb, disabling Angua's sense of smell. He makes his way to the Misbegot Bridge for the rendezvous with Deep Bone.
Mr Pin and Mr Tulip, having failed to hire a werewolf at the undead bar Biers, dump their sacks of terriers into the river. The beggars under the Misbegot Bridge fish the dogs out.
POV: William de Worde·On page: Samuel 'Sam' Vimes, Mr Pin, Mr Tulip, Mr Slant, Sacharissa Cripslock, Charlie, Wuffles, Foul Ole Ron·Mentioned: Havelock Vetinari, Rufus Drumknott
Section: Wuffles Tells His Story
Deep Bone sends a guide to lead William to Wuffles - a grotesquely over-groomed poodle named Trixiebell that William follows through the slush to the camp of the Canting Crew beneath the Misbegot Bridge. There he finds Foul Ole Ron, the Duck Man, Coffin Henry, Arnold Sideways, Altogether Andrews and their talking dog Gaspode, who has been hiding as Deep Bone's intermediary.
William pays the fifty dollars and takes Wuffles, along with Gaspode as interpreter. Gaspode explains that Wuffles witnessed everything in the palace - two strangers broke in with a man who looked exactly like Vetinari, attacked the real Vetinari, stabbed Drumknott, and staged the scene. Wuffles bit one of the attackers on the ankle before being shot at and escaping.
Back at the Times office, Sacharissa and the dwarfs produce the first colour edition, using Otto's system of three imps wearing coloured goggles to separate the image into component colours. The Inquirer, meanwhile, is outselling the Times two to one with fabricated stories. Sacharissa and William argue about the balance between important political stories and the everyday news that actually sells papers, reaching an uneasy truce.
POV: William de Worde·On page: Sacharissa Cripslock, Gunilla Goodmountain, Otto Chriek, Lord de Worde·Mentioned: Havelock Vetinari, Rufus Drumknott
Section: Weighing The Coins
Mr Slant meets again with the Committee to Unelect the Patrician, reporting that while the palace operation succeeded, the dog escaped. The conspirators are confident that Vetinari will be quietly pardoned and replaced by the malleable Mr Scrope. They dismiss the Times as harmless, noting the Inquirer outsells it and that the public prefers entertaining lies to uncomfortable truths.
Mr Pin and Mr Tulip break into the Temple of Om to steal disguises. Tulip, despite his violent nature, shows his remarkable knowledge of art by identifying a priceless Futtock candlestick that the temple was using as a doorstop. He knocks out a priest but insists on treating the candlestick with reverence.
William borrows Mrs Arcanum's kitchen scales at midnight to weigh ten dollar coins and calculate the impossibility of Vetinari loading the horse himself. He dictates the story and includes news from Lancre debunking the Inquirer's snake story.
Goodmountain and William share a late-night conversation about their motivations. Goodmountain reveals he and Boddony want to marry and need gold for the traditional dwarf marriage exchange. William admits he does the work because he cannot imagine doing anything else.
POV: William de Worde·On page: Mr Slant, Mr Pin, Mr Tulip, Gunilla Goodmountain, Boddony, Charlie, Wuffles, Foul Ole Ron, Coffin Henry, Arnold Sideways, The Duck Man, Altogether Andrews·Mentioned: Havelock Vetinari
Section: Tunnels To The Inquirer
Boddony and the dwarfs break through the bricked-up doorway in the cellar, discovering a network of forgotten tunnels beneath the old street. They tunnel across to the Inquirer's cellar, where they find Cut-Me-Own-Throat Dibbler - revealed as the writer of the Inquirer's fabricated stories. Sacharissa harangues Dibbler, who confesses he was hired by Ronnie Carney, the Inquirer's editor.
William insists the tunnel be bricked up immediately - he will not stoop to the methods of their rivals. Dibbler is recruited to sell advertising for the Times on commission, his natural talent for embellishment being perfectly suited to the task.
Sacharissa borrows a key to the de Worde family town house to find a dress for Lady Selachii's ball. William arranges his rendezvous with Deep Bone, while Vimes confronts Sergeant Angua about William's scent bomb attack. Vimes reluctantly withdraws the Watch surveillance, leaving William unprotected.
POV: William de Worde·On page: Sacharissa Cripslock, Boddony, Cut Me Own Throat Dibbler, Gunilla Goodmountain·Mentioned: Samuel 'Sam' Vimes
Section: Fire And Molten Lead
Mr Pin and Mr Tulip confront Mr Slant, demanding more money and threatening to leave the city. They then attack the Times office at night, setting fire to the building. The press, the type, and twenty tons of lead are destroyed. The fire is fierce but short-lived, consuming everything flammable.
In the cellar below, the molten lead from the press pours through the hatch in a silver rain. Mr Pin, trapped with Mr Tulip and losing his grip on sanity after the dark light exposure, betrays his partner - shooting him with a crossbow bolt and standing on his body to escape the rising pool of hot metal. Mr Tulip dies in the lead.
Pin erupts from the cellar like a screaming demon and attacks William, strangling him. Sacharissa kicks Pin away, and William, who had been impaled on the spike from his own desk, instinctively strikes out with it in self-defence. Pin dies clutching a stolen potato - a talisman from Mr Tulip that he believed would grant him absolution.
Among Pin's possessions, William finds bags of jewels - the payment from the conspirators - and a Dis-organizer containing recordings of conversations with Mr Slant that prove the conspiracy.
POV: William de Worde·On page: Mr Pin, Mr Tulip, Sacharissa Cripslock, Otto Chriek, Gunilla Goodmountain, Boddony·Mentioned: Mr Slant
Section: Dog Bites Man
Sacharissa reveals that she was captured at the de Worde town house, where the fake Vetinari - Charlie - was being kept in the cellar. William realises his own father was involved in the conspiracy, having provided the house as a base for Pin and Tulip. The Dis-organizer recordings confirm that Mr Slant hired the killers on behalf of unnamed clients.
With their press destroyed, the dwarfs use the jewels to buy their way into the Inquirer's building. Sacharissa holds editor Ronnie Carney at crossbow-point while Goodmountain pays off the Inquirer's staff. Otto, discovering he can now summon atmospheric thunder on command, helps clear the building.
William dictates the entire story from memory while Goodmountain sets type at furious speed. The headline reads 'Dog Bites Man' - making the old journalistic cliche into actual news. William generously credits the Watch with days of patient detective work, reasoning that he needs Vimes as an ally rather than an enemy. But he cannot bring himself to name the conspirators - because doing so would mean naming his own father.
POV: William de Worde·On page: Sacharissa Cripslock, Gunilla Goodmountain, Otto Chriek, Lord de Worde, Charlie·Mentioned: Samuel 'Sam' Vimes, Mr Slant
Section: Confronting Lord De Worde
Mr Tulip, in death, encounters Death himself. Shown every life he shortened, he is genuinely overwhelmed with remorse and accepts that his potato-based faith was inadequate. Death offers him reincarnation, noting that lives need not be serial - he could be reborn in any time. Mr Pin, arriving moments later with his stolen potato, attempts to bluff his way past Death, claiming to be sorry without meaning it. Death sees through the deception, strips him of his potato, and sends him to his deserved fate.
William goes alone to confront his father at the empty de Worde town house. Lord de Worde admits his involvement without remorse, insisting he acted in the city's best interests. William, channelling the de Worde family talent for intimidation, uses the Dis-organizer recordings as leverage. He demands his father leave Ankh-Morpork immediately, threatening to publish every word.
Lord de Worde draws his sword, but Otto drops from the ceiling and defeats four armed bailiffs with his bare fists. When Lord de Worde stabs Otto through the chest, the vampire simply pulls out the sword and lifts the old man off the ground. William throws down a bag of jewels worth over twenty thousand dollars - payment for his upbringing, buying himself free of his family in the dwarf tradition. Lord de Worde refuses the money and leaves.
POV: William de Worde·On page: Otto Chriek, Mr Tulip, Mr Pin, Lord de Worde, Wuffles, Foul Ole Ron
Section: Vetinari Restored
William is arrested by Vimes for withholding information. He demands Mr Slant as his lawyer - knowing that the zombie, terrified of having his own role in the conspiracy exposed, will work tirelessly to get William released. Slant deploys six-hundred-year-old legal precedents to spring William from custody, and William blackmails him into providing free legal services and pressuring the Engravers' Guild to back off.
At breakfast, William's fellow lodgers discuss the news with their usual mixture of selective attention and cheerful obliviousness. The political story barely registers - Mr Mackleduff is more disappointed by the lack of funny vegetables. William snaps, grabbing Mr Windling by the lapels and delivering an impassioned speech about the importance of truth and verifiable facts.
At the palace, Lord Vetinari is restored to power after Mr Scrope conveniently falls ill. The Guild leaders, coached by Slant, grudgingly acknowledge Vetinari's innocence. In a private meeting, Vetinari suggests that William's newspaper may be worth supporting - on the understanding that it continues to make powerful people uncomfortable. The Times reopens in a rebuilt shed, with colour printing, new staff, and plans for expansion. William and Sacharissa agree to keep working together, balancing his pursuit of important truths with her instinct for the everyday stories that actually sell papers.
POV: William de Worde·On page: Samuel 'Sam' Vimes, Mr Slant, Havelock Vetinari, Sacharissa Cripslock·Mentioned: Gunilla Goodmountain