Snuff
Chapters - Terry Pratchett
Section: Vetinari Reads About Goblins
Lord Vetinari reads a monograph on goblins - creatures universally despised and considered vermin. The document argues that goblins are in fact a sentient species with their own culture, religion, and art, particularly their sacred 'unggue pots' which hold personal essences. Vetinari, characteristically, files this information away for future use.
On page: Havelock Vetinari
Section: Vimes Forced on Holiday
Lady Sybil insists that Commander Vimes take a holiday at Ramkin Hall, her ancestral country estate. Vimes resists fiercely - he is a city man to his bones and regards the countryside with deep suspicion. Vetinari makes it clear that the holiday is not optional. Willikins prepares for the journey with his usual efficiency, packing both formal wear and an arsenal of improvised weapons.
On page: Lady Sybil Ramkin-Vimes, Samuel 'Sam' Vimes, Havelock Vetinari, Willikins
Section: Arrival at Ramkin Hall
The Vimes family arrives at Ramkin Hall, an enormous country estate with generations of accumulated wealth and history. Vimes is uncomfortable with the grandeur and the deference of the staff. Young Sam is delighted by the vast playroom full of antique toys, including a life-sized rocking horse with a real leather saddle. Willikins explains the local custom of the spinning housemaids. Sybil settles in with ease, being in her ancestral home.
On page: Samuel 'Sam' Vimes, Young Sam, Willikins, Lady Sybil Ramkin-Vimes, Mrs Silver
Section: Vimes Explores the Village
Vimes walks the grounds with Willikins and Young Sam, who finds a human skull near the river - an old one, long polished. Vimes meets local people and begins to sense something wrong beneath the rural surface. The village is too quiet, too deferential. He encounters Miss Beedle, a local author and goblin advocate who tells him about the persecution of the local goblin population.
On page: Samuel 'Sam' Vimes, Willikins, Young Sam, Miss Beedle, Lord Rust, Stinky, Jethro Jefferson, Jiminy, Jane Gordon
Section: Blood on Hangman's Hill
Vimes discovers evidence of violence against goblins on Hangman's Hill - blood, broken unggue pots, and signs of a struggle. His copper's instincts kick in despite being on holiday. Stratford is mentioned as the man the local gentry use when they need dirty work done. Willikins provides support and intelligence from the servants' network below stairs.
On page: Samuel 'Sam' Vimes, Stratford, Willikins
Section: Feeney Tries to Arrest Vimes
Chief Constable Feeney Upshot arrives at Ramkin Hall to arrest Vimes for the murder of a local man - a crime that has clearly been staged to frame him. Feeney is nervous, earnest, and thoroughly out of his depth. Vimes recognises a young copper trying to do the right thing and, instead of simply brushing him aside, begins teaching him how to be a real policeman. Willikins stands ready throughout, but Vimes handles the situation with words rather than force.
On page: Feeney Upshot, Samuel 'Sam' Vimes, Willikins, Sergeant Upshot
Section: Into the Goblin Cave
Vimes and Feeney visit the goblin cave on the hill, where Vimes discovers the goblins' culture - their music, their sacred unggue pots, and their quiet, resigned suffering. He meets the goblin woman Tears of the Mushroom, who plays the harp with heartbreaking beauty. Vimes realises that the goblins are being systematically kidnapped and shipped downriver as slave labour. Young Sam is fascinated by the goblins and their ways.
On page: Samuel 'Sam' Vimes, Feeney Upshot, Young Sam, Stinky
Section: The Magistrates Conspire
The local magistrates - landed gentry who regard themselves as the law in the Shires - conspire to obstruct Vimes's investigation. Gravid Rust is revealed as the driving force behind the goblin trafficking, using his family connections and local influence to run the operation. The magistrates attempt to have Vimes removed, but he invokes his authority as a Duke and Commander of the Watch. Feeney is caught between his local loyalties and his growing respect for Vimes's methods.
On page: Samuel 'Sam' Vimes, Gravid Rust, Feeney Upshot
Section: Colon and the Unggue Pot
Back in Ankh-Morpork, Sergeant Colon and Nobby investigate the city end of the goblin trafficking ring. They discover an unggue pot being sold as a curiosity and begin to trace the supply chain. Captain Carrot coordinates the city investigation. Angua and Cheery provide support.
On page: Fred Colon, Nobby Nobbs, Carrot Ironfoundersson, Angua von Uberwald, Cheery Littlebottom, Stinky
Section: Tears of the Mushroom Plays
Lady Sybil arranges for the goblin musician Tears of the Mushroom to perform at a gathering of local gentry, forcing them to confront the humanity of the creatures they have been exploiting. The performance is transcendent - even the most hardened sceptics are moved. Vimes watches the social dynamics with a copper's eye. Miss Beedle helps orchestrate the event.
On page: Lady Sybil Ramkin-Vimes, Samuel 'Sam' Vimes, Miss Beedle, Tears of the Mushroom
Section: The Dawn Raid
Vimes and Feeney conduct a dawn raid on the goblin trafficking operation. Stratford is identified as the muscle behind the kidnappings. Willikins provides tactical support, his street-fighting skills proving invaluable in the countryside. The evidence trail leads to the riverboats that carry kidnapped goblins downstream to plantations.
On page: Samuel 'Sam' Vimes, Feeney Upshot, Stratford, Willikins, Wee Mad Arthur, Tears of the Mushroom, Jethro Jefferson, Ted Flutter
Section: Chase on Old Treachery
Vimes pursues the goblin smugglers down the river aboard a paddle steamer, racing against time to catch the boat carrying the kidnapped goblins before it reaches the sea. Feeney accompanies him, growing in confidence as a copper under Vimes's mentorship. The river Old Treachery is dangerous and unpredictable, and the chase is harrowing.
On page: Samuel 'Sam' Vimes, Feeney Upshot
Section: Boarding the Wonderful Fanny
Vimes boards the smuggling vessel, confronting Stratford in a violent showdown. Feeney proves himself as a copper, making arrests and securing evidence. The kidnapped goblins are freed. Willikins handles the rough work with professional enthusiasm.
On page: Samuel 'Sam' Vimes, Stratford, Feeney Upshot, Willikins
Section: Washed Up in Quirm
Vimes and Feeney end up in Quirm, where the city Watch provides assistance. The evidence trail connecting Gravid Rust to the goblin trafficking is assembled. Back in Ankh-Morpork, Carrot, Colon, and Nobby close the net on the city conspirators. Vetinari ensures the political ground is prepared for the prosecution.
On page: Samuel 'Sam' Vimes, Feeney Upshot, Gravid Rust, Carrot Ironfoundersson, Fred Colon, Nobby Nobbs, Havelock Vetinari
Section: Tears Plays at the Selachii Evening
Vimes returns to Ankh-Morpork where Gravid Rust faces justice. Vetinari has engineered the political outcome with his usual precision - goblins are to be recognised as a sentient species with legal protections. Lady Sybil is proud. Young Sam has had the holiday of his life.
Feeney has been transformed from a naive country constable into a real copper. Miss Beedle's advocacy for goblins is vindicated. Willikins resumes his duties with quiet satisfaction. At Lady Selachii's musical evening - the kind of high-society Ankh-Morpork occasion where reputations are made or unmade in the space of a phrase - Tears of the Mushroom plays the harp before a room of people who have never thought of goblins as people, and the goblin question is settled forever in the space of a single piece of music. And Vimes reads 'Where's My Cow?' to Young Sam.
On page: Samuel 'Sam' Vimes, Gravid Rust, Havelock Vetinari, Lady Sybil Ramkin-Vimes, Young Sam, Feeney Upshot, Miss Beedle, Willikins, Tears of the Mushroom, Stinky, Jethro Jefferson, Jane Gordon