Jingo
Chapters - Terry Pratchett
Section: The Island of Leshp
An island rises from the sea between Ankh-Morpork and Klatch - the lost continent of Leshp, complete with ancient buildings and a weathercock. An Ankh-Morpork fisherman named Solid Jackson and a Klatchian fisherman immediately begin arguing over who saw it first, setting the tone for the international crisis to come.
Captain Carrot writes a letter home describing his work with the expanded Watch, including a hostage situation at Vortin's Diamond Warehouse where Corporal Angua has been taken captive - though the robbers come off decidedly worse. Constable Reg Shoe, a zombie, helps Carrot process the thoroughly terrified criminals.
At the Ankh-Morpork embassy reception for Prince Khufurah of Klatch, an assassination attempt is made with a crossbow bolt. Commander Vimes begins investigating, immediately suspicious that the simple explanation is too simple.
On page: Carrot Ironfoundersson, Reg Shoe, Samuel 'Sam' Vimes, Angua von Uberwald, Solid Jackson, Les Jackson, Prince Khufurah, Captain Jenkins
Section: Vetinari's Submarine
Vimes assigns Colon and Nobby to the assassination investigation, knowing they will accept the simplest explanation. He meets with Lord Vetinari, who understands exactly what Vimes is doing - using simple men to find the 'simple truth' while he pursues the real one.
Vetinari visits Leonard of Quirm in his attic workshop, where the genius has been building an experimental engine that keeps exploding. Leonard has also been designing a submarine - the Going-Under-The-Water-Safely Device - which Vetinari recognises may prove useful.
War fever grips Ankh-Morpork. Lord Rust and the aristocratic faction push for military action against Klatch over the newly risen island of Leshp. Anti-Klatchian sentiment spreads through the city, with attacks on Klatchian-owned shops.
On page: Samuel 'Sam' Vimes, Fred Colon, Nobby Nobbs, Havelock Vetinari, Leonard of Quirm, Lord Rust, Angua von Uberwald, Mr Slant, Visit-The-Infidel-With-Explanatory-Pamphlets, Mr Downey, Goriff, Prince Khufurah, Lord Selachii, Mr Boggis
Section: 71-Hour Ahmed Arrives
Vimes investigates the assassination attempt and discovers that the apparent assassin, Ossie Brunt, was a patsy - a dim-witted fall guy set up to take the blame. The real shooter was a professional called Snowy Slopes, but someone killed Snowy too, after he wrote something down. The conspiracy is deeper than politics: someone wanted to start a war.
Lady Sybil researches the Ramkin family's military history, reflecting on centuries of ancestors who went to war without question. She worries about Sam but understands he cannot be other than what he is.
71-Hour Ahmed, a Klatchian policeman, appears in Ankh-Morpork and makes contact with Vimes. Despite mutual suspicion, they recognise each other as fellow coppers - men who believe in the law.
On page: Samuel 'Sam' Vimes, Lady Sybil Ramkin-Vimes, 71-Hour Ahmed, Angua von Uberwald, Goriff, Prince Khufurah
Section: Rust Declares War
Lord Rust seizes control of Ankh-Morpork's government as Vetinari steps aside, and declares war on Klatch. He disbands the Watch and conscripts its members into his army. Vimes refuses to serve under Rust and instead commandeers a ship to pursue 71-Hour Ahmed, who has fled to Klatch with evidence.
Carrot, Angua, Detritus, Reg Shoe and other Watch members join Vimes. They throw cargo overboard to lighten the ship and give chase across the Circle Sea. Meanwhile, Angua is captured by Klatchians and held with a silver collar.
Vetinari, Colon, Nobby and Leonard of Quirm take the submarine beneath the waves, pursuing their own parallel mission.
On page: Lord Rust, Samuel 'Sam' Vimes, 71-Hour Ahmed, Carrot Ironfoundersson, Detritus, Reg Shoe, Havelock Vetinari, Fred Colon, Nobby Nobbs, Leonard of Quirm, Angua von Uberwald, Visit-The-Infidel-With-Explanatory-Pamphlets, Goriff, Janil Goriff, Captain Jenkins
Section: Into the Klatchian Desert
In the Klatchian desert, Vimes and the Watch operate as a guerrilla police force, arresting Klatchian soldiers and confiscating their weapons. Carrot befriends the D'regs, fierce desert warriors, through his characteristic genuine interest in people - learning names, remembering details, treating everyone as worth knowing.
Angua describes why people follow Carrot: he makes space in his head for them, takes a genuine interest, and makes them feel important. Vimes reflects that he himself is 'Vetinari's terrier' - he chases first and thinks later.
The submarine crew - Vetinari, Colon, Nobby and Leonard - navigate beneath the Circle Sea, surviving on garlic sausage and cheese in their cramped tin vessel.
On page: Samuel 'Sam' Vimes, Carrot Ironfoundersson, Havelock Vetinari, Fred Colon, Nobby Nobbs, Leonard of Quirm, Angua von Uberwald, Captain Jenkins
Section: Cadram's Conspiracy Unmasked
Vimes discovers that Prince Cadram orchestrated the assassination attempt on his own brother to create a pretext for war. 71-Hour Ahmed confirms this - he has been investigating Cadram from the Klatchian side.
Carrot leads a small force that disrupts the Klatchian army's supply lines using police tactics rather than military ones. Detritus provides heavy support, while Reg Shoe proves surprisingly resilient in combat, being already dead.
Lord Rust's army meets the Klatchians on the field, but before the battle can properly begin, Vetinari arrives via the submarine and engineers a diplomatic resolution. The island of Leshp begins to sink back beneath the waves, rendering the entire territorial dispute moot.
On page: Samuel 'Sam' Vimes, Prince Cadram, 71-Hour Ahmed, Carrot Ironfoundersson, Detritus, Reg Shoe, Lord Rust, Havelock Vetinari, Angua von Uberwald, Jabbar
Section: Arrests on the Battlefield
With the diplomatic crisis resolved, Vimes arrests Prince Cadram's agents for the attempted murder. 71-Hour Ahmed departs for the mountains, and he and Vimes exchange a grudging mutual respect between two men who believe in the law.
The armies negotiate peace terms. Nobby, still dressed as a Klatchian woman from an earlier disguise, uses his 'sexual wiles' to acquire food - threatening to take his clothes off and scream. Angua, Detritus and Reg Shoe wait out the diplomacy.
Carrot and Colon return to their routines. Vimes reflects that whatever his title or rank, he is and always will be a copper - a man of the city.
On page: Samuel 'Sam' Vimes, Prince Cadram, 71-Hour Ahmed, Nobby Nobbs, Detritus, Reg Shoe, Carrot Ironfoundersson, Fred Colon, Angua von Uberwald, Jabbar
Section: Vetinari Resumes Office
Lord Vetinari resumes control of Ankh-Morpork, having orchestrated events so that Lord Rust's military adventure collapsed without catastrophe. The Patrician's use of Leonard of Quirm's submarine to arrive at exactly the right diplomatic moment demonstrates his characteristic blend of patience, manipulation and impeccable timing.
Vimes returns home to Lady Sybil, who has been managing the household and worrying in her stoic Ramkin way. The Watch resumes its duties, now with international experience and an even stronger sense of identity.
On page: Havelock Vetinari, Lord Rust, Leonard of Quirm, Samuel 'Sam' Vimes, Lady Sybil Ramkin-Vimes, Jabbar
Section: Copper, Not Soldier
Vimes reflects on what it means to be a policeman in a world that keeps trying to turn him into a soldier or a politician. His Dis-organizer - a demonic personal organiser that keeps telling him appointments from a timeline he has already diverged from - finally catches up with reality.
Carrot returns to his duties with characteristic cheerfulness, having led D'reg warriors in the desert with the same ease he directs traffic in Ankh-Morpork. Angua recovers from her ordeal with the silver collar.
On page: Samuel 'Sam' Vimes, Carrot Ironfoundersson
Section: The City Settles
The political aftermath of the Leshp crisis settles over both nations. Vetinari ensures the conspirators face appropriate consequences, while maintaining plausible deniability about his own submarine adventure; Colon and Nobby are sworn to secrecy about their voyage and slip back into their comfortable patrol routine, Nobby's Klatchian outfit tucked away "just in case".
Vimes processes the legal aftermath of the war, dealing with deserters, looters and profiteers; the Watch has emerged with enhanced prestige - they maintained order when the military could not. Detritus returns to his sergeant's duties, Cheery Littlebottom resumes forensics work, and Carrot writes another letter home about Commander Vimes being well, if grumpy, and Angua sending her regards. Anti-Klatchian tensions gradually subside as Vimes cracks down on racially motivated attacks; the Klatchian shopkeepers reopen, Cut-Me-Own-Throat Dibbler pivots from patriotic merchandise to peace souvenirs with equal entrepreneurial enthusiasm.
In the Oblong Office Vetinari and Vimes meet for their customary verbal fencing, the Patrician obliquely acknowledging Vimes' role in preventing a full war while maintaining the fiction that everything happened exactly as planned. Lord Rust retires to his estates with his military reputation somehow intact in his own mind; the aristocratic faction quietly distances itself from the whole affair. Leonard of Quirm returns to his attic workshop, already designing improvements to the submarine and sketching ideas for a flying machine, and Vetinari locks the door behind him. Lady Sybil and Vimes settle back into domestic life. Angua recovers from the silver-collar ordeal; she and Carrot walk the evening streets together, their relationship deepened by shared danger. The city goes about its business, as it always has, not because it is governed well but because it is ungovernable.
On page: Havelock Vetinari, Fred Colon, Nobby Nobbs, Samuel 'Sam' Vimes, Detritus, Carrot Ironfoundersson, Cut Me Own Throat Dibbler, Lord Rust, Lady Sybil Ramkin-Vimes, Leonard of Quirm, Reg Shoe, Angua von Uberwald
Section: Vimes on the Brass Bridge
Commander Vimes stands on the Brass Bridge at night, smoking a cigar and watching the city he protects. The island of Leshp has sunk completely, taking the cause of war with it. Somewhere out in the desert, 71-Hour Ahmed chases thieves through the mountains.
Vimes thinks about the nature of jingoism - how nations convince themselves that the people on the other side of a border are somehow different and lesser, when in fact they are just people. He flicks his cigar butt into the Ankh and walks home through streets he knows by feel, a man of the city to his bones.
The Watch keeps going. The night is dark, the streets are wet, and there is always work for policemen.
On page: Samuel 'Sam' Vimes, Angua von Uberwald·Mentioned: 71-Hour Ahmed